Saturday, November 29, 2008
From the wise words of a 4 year old...
I have been wanting to blog for several days but since the holiday was upon us and I have an out of town loved one visiting, I am not in my normal rhythm. Actually, I am still searching for that even when no irregular circumstances can be blamed. This is one of my "homework assignments" from my naturopath ; to be aware and flow with my own rhythm....but I feel like I have been out of touch with that for so long, I am not sure how to do it. I guess that is step one...realizing I am out of sinc and gaining awareness of myself and connecting deep within. And then not judging that , just moving forward slowly and consciously. My son Julian makes up songs on his guitar all day long and no matter if he is singing the pudding song, the thanksgiving song, or the tissue song, they all contain a line that goes something like this: "....and I don't know what to do....and I don't know how to do it...". Steve and I are always half chuckling and half amazed at his philosophical lyrics and wonder why he puts this sentiment into almost every song....it indicates a kind of vulnerability ; not always knowing what to do, with the humility to admit it out loud (and sometimes at full volume in song!)...I don't actually know many adults that feel comfortable putting it out there like that. This is just one of the ways that my son (and children in general) often inspire me. Their honesty and fearlessness of exposure to others. So I am saying it out loud, I don't know how to do it...how to find my own rhythm.... I aim to do yoga one of these days, as I am sure that will help. As I continue on this new way of eating, I am more in touch with the physical part of my body(how each food I ingest feels in my body,whether I am hungry or not,etc.) but still...I wonder, do you, any of my readers have a better understanding or a secret method of how to stay in touch with this part of yourself? I would love to hear any stories or hints you might have....i believe as each of us make our way in the world and continue this journey on the path of knowledge and love and understanding, it helps to give each other a leg-up when we can....after all, we're all in this together, really.... peace be with you.
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3 comments:
Yoga can be very intimidating, especially if you've never done it before. Make sure you find the right class, one that is for all levels (some can be very hardcore) and be open with the instructor that you are nervous about it. If you find the right fit, it can be an amazing journey to find strength (and rhythm) in your body and mind that you didn't know existed. Another thing that i've never done but my mom LOVES is Tai Chi. Let me know if you want any info about that.
If more people would be willing to admit they don't know what they don't know - the world would be a much more peaceful place wouldn't it?
for me, it's about doing pretty intense exercise. I do this outdoor fitness thing, and I pay in advance, so I'm committed to going every other day. Wake up early before I'm sure where I'm at and don't have energy for coming up with excuses not to go, and just roll over to where we meet. Having a group of really nice people helps too, very encouraging and also a little peer pressure in the good way to keep doing it.
the thing I like about this is it doesn't rely on my feeling motivated or energized or inspired or any of that crap your mind can twirl you into. I just get up and go. And then the exercise itself is so intense I don't have much time to think while we're going. Just get up to Twin Peaks, get back down, more pushups, beautifull sunrise, more crunches, jesus, phew...wow, I did it! It helps to have a certain kind of stubbornness, I just hate the feeling of not being able to complete the tasks, and so that pushes me to stick through the pain.
For a video we once interviewed a guy who had spent most of his young life in jail, and was now backpacking for the first time, seeing the milky way for the first time, carrying his life on his back. He said "I've been through a lot of hard things in my life, but I always knew it was going to get better, that I had to just keep going, and it would get better. It's just like this hiking."
The intensity of the exercise has the same sort of metaphoric power for me. It doesn't matter how hard it is, I know I'm going to get better, more fit, feel good, powerful, in control. Just one more block. One more pushup. No thinking about what "feels good" in the moment, but more about what's on the horizon. For a guy in jail, that's all he had. And here he was, in the wilderness, loving it, seeing a whole new struggle. I think it's easy for a lot of us who have good lives and big brains to forever worry about "feeling" the moment...actually, everything good is not pleasurable immediately. It's always more comfortable and "right" to sleep in in the morning. But then that glorious horizon starts to dim, and all I want is some new marginal comfort to stay in that unhealthy but more "natural" zone. But once I've been on a good streak of running, that becomes the new comfort zone and sitting around makes me restless and uncomfortable.
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