gone today, here tomorrow???

Ok so it's been a while since my last blog...it's not so much that I didn't have anything to say, just that I have had so many things going through my head that I kept circling the launch pad, never touching down to write about one thing. oh well, i am here now anyway. I just had to blog tonight...I am really BUMMED! I have been gliding through the holidays with no real stress about the typical holiday binge , you know, avoiding the food tables and sweets at parties, not filling all the Christmas decor dishes with candy as before and basically, doing a damn fine job of keeping things clean in my world of eating. But the last few days, I have been yearning to bake. Maybe it's the "snow" that has kept us indoors, and feeling homey. Maybe it's this time of year. It makes me feel good and thus far,  I have been fine with giving the treats away once made...However, I decided that I wanted to try to make a batch of cookies from the current recipe book I am able to enjoy- allergen free and so on...and made these delicious no-bake cookies. But the problem is...I can't stay away from them now!!! So, it seems my friend the cookie monster, lady binger, or what-have-you, was only on vacation and has now returned to the building and seems to be getting comfortable again- ugh!! I was in denial all these past 8.5 weeks I guess, or maybe it's that old self-sabotaging meanie inside that decided that "hey, she's feeling pretty confident now, has lost 16 lbs.,and doesn't crave sugar anymore. I think I will f*$k with her and see if I can break her again. I mean, I've always been able to before, why not this time as well?" And I realize that I am my own worst critic and yes,, I have been making amazing strides. Yet somehow, I will not think about the seriously healthy(and delicious) soup I made for dinner and just concentrate on the delicious treats in the fridge calling my name, again and again...This too shall pass. I know this & will make every stride to move beyond the little voices that want me to fail but sometimes I just wish I could feel normal in relation to food. I actually was feeling normal until today...well, I will just sleep on it and see what comes forth tomorrow. Do you have any little food "devils" that threaten to push you to the edge of healthy balanced eating?