Thursday, June 4, 2009

What I am

As I am continuing to work on areas of self acceptance, I sometimes feel like I am walking in a landmine....just as I start to think I have gotten those demeaning voices out of my head, I realize they are lurking just around the bend in a different form but still super powered and stealthy...I go about my day, feeling like I have nothing to show for it but that frame of mind doesn't serve me and I would like to let it go.... so for today I am just going to try to be. I am going to let myself know that while I may be a hugely complicated, variety of things (read: energies, ideas, emotions, etc.), I don't need to place my value on all things exterior...deep inside is what counts and where all that great stuff is...

I am not a sink full of dirty dishes and a sticky kitchen floor
I am  not piles of laundry that have yet to be done and put away
I am not the closets waiting to be organized
I am not messy desk or the paperwork to file
I am not all those recipes that haven't been explored yet
I am not the phone calls I do or don't make
I am not my current stained, wrinkled "Goodwill worthy" wardrobe 
I am not the times I don't floss or exercise or say the right thing
I am not bills not attended to or budget out of whack
I am not losing or gaining weight
I am not a "productive" day

I am a deep, kind, thinking, feeling, loving, living,soul-searching being

there is where the value is and has always been...see it...believe it...embrace it....

3 comments:

Laurel Hermanson said...

You are a cherished friend and always will be.

Jen Anderson said...

omg, you just made my cry. I needed this. thank you, as usual.

mamalikey said...

I've let this post percolate in my brain for awhile now. It seemed simple enough at first, but is really very powerful.

Thanks for the insight, as your friend said, as usual.