Love above all else

Really, really poignant. But you made me cry...

2009-12-04T23:37:36.185-08:00

Really, really poignant. But you made me cry...

Lovely, Justine! Did you write it? I needed that!

2009-11-23T21:43:47.082-08:00

Lovely, Justine! Did you write it? I needed that!

I've let this post percolate in my brain for a...

2009-06-08T17:14:29.831-07:00

I've let this post percolate in my brain for awhile now. It seemed simple enough at first, but is really very powerful.

Thanks for the insight, as your friend said, as usual.

omg, you just made my cry. I needed this. thank ...

2009-06-06T21:08:17.304-07:00

omg, you just made my cry. I needed this. thank you, as usual.

You are a cherished friend and always will be.

2009-06-04T23:38:17.451-07:00

You are a cherished friend and always will be.

I love both Grace's comment and that Laurel felt t...

2009-04-15T21:20:00.000-07:00

I love both Grace's comment and that Laurel felt the need to assert "I'm not." Cracked me up. ;)

Show off. Grace sees me naked and says, "Mommy, yo...

2009-04-08T12:47:00.000-07:00

Show off. Grace sees me naked and says, "Mommy, you're poopy!" (I'm not.)

sometimes you just make me want to have kids...

2009-04-07T00:41:00.000-07:00

sometimes you just make me want to have kids...

Thank you both of you. I have since de-fumed about...

2009-03-15T20:21:00.000-07:00

Thank you both of you. I have since de-fumed about this, although I am still trying to find a comfortable place within our relationship where I can accept the way she is and also not allow her to trample all over me either. Lolo, I am soooo sorry to hear about the reaction (or lack thereof) to your book by your mum...not surprised but very sad to hear it just the same...you know that you ARE praiseworthy for your book and so much more...I guess we just can't always assume it'll come from our mothers, but it is important to really hear it from others that love us too! We are all enough and perfect in our own ways always!!!!

everything that Laurel said is true...I don't have...

2009-03-15T18:32:00.000-07:00

everything that Laurel said is true...I don't have much else to say except that you ARE enough...always.

just remember the four agreements.

Justine. So many thoughts, my head might explode. ...

2009-03-10T20:52:00.000-07:00

Justine. So many thoughts, my head might explode. I won't say anything glib, because that's not helpful. I will say that you are SO RIGHT about this being her issue and you getting caught in the crossfire. Plus: 1) your dad just visited and that must tweak her a little; 2) you are working so hard to make positive changes, which may seem like an implicit rebuke to someone who has not; and 3) when you're struggling, you're an easy target. Will you ever completely stop struggling with this? Only if you stop caring, which is difficult for someone as loving and forgiving as you. Just try, try, try to remember IT'S ABOUT HER.

And because I can't write this on my own blog, I'll make it a little about ME. When my mom received my book in the mail, she didn't tell me until I sent an email. Her email response? "Yes, I got it. The cover looks pretty dark. :0(" That was it. I could just feel the pride oozing from my monitor...

Hang in there. I will always love you, unless you stop letting me crash at your house whenever I'm temporarily homeless.

I think that, as counterintuitive as it seems, we ...

2009-02-25T22:11:00.000-08:00

I think that, as counterintuitive as it seems, we tend to judge others around issues with which we struggle most, consciously or not. Maybe because you are so honest about your struggle with food at the other end of the spectrum, you can empathize with others like you, but aren't able to wrap your mind around how someone could find comfort by NOT eating. I believe she is just as protected as you are by her thinness. It keeps people at a safe distance.

Remember when I was so sick this summer and got kind of icky thin? People kept telling me I looked great. I wanted to kick them in the shins and scream, "I'm starving, you moron!" There's something really wrong with our society, but you are definitely not part of the problem! In fact, dialogue like this is part of the solution. (And I'm happy to report I've gained ten pounds.)

I agree with Leslie. We all have those prejudices...

2009-02-22T23:26:00.000-08:00

I agree with Leslie. We all have those prejudices that pop out from time to time.

I am actually taking a Psychology of Stigma and Prejudice class that is pretty interesting.

I also think there is probably something else going on energetically with you and this woman...sometimes we just don't connect with people and that is ok!

you are very brave for posting this. i mean to ac...

2009-02-22T06:56:00.000-08:00

you are very brave for posting this. i mean to actually own up and voice your prejudices is very unusual. i applaud you for it. there are a gazillion people in the world who hold their own judgments as a way of life and if we all owned up to them, as you are, i believe the world would be a much better and tolerable place.

Laurel- thanks for your honesty, it means a lot. (...

2009-02-21T20:03:00.000-08:00

Laurel- thanks for your honesty, it means a lot. (and Gracie knows how much you love her!)
A- I like your idea about the iron chef thing, kinda gives it a new outlook or exciting challenge for me...and I see your point on NOT reading reviews...but that must also be hard coming from your background as a film reviewer as well....maybe you can just have us fans read them for you and simply forward the lovely ones! :-)

I fell out of love with seeing reviews of our movi...

2009-02-20T14:28:00.000-08:00

I fell out of love with seeing reviews of our movie. One person says it's edited too slickly, another says it's barely edited, another says it's perfectly edited. I used to make fun of filmmakers who said they never read their reviews. I've been reading every little blog post (don't get me wrong, most things have been nice), but I think next time I might be like those I used to laugh at. As per usual. Also a thought about the food stuff...I've been getting together with other people in my building every month for a dinner, and it's always vegan. I'm not much familiar with vegan cooking, but it has been a great way to learn some great recipes and also challenge my own cooking skills. I've been thinking about starting up a dinner night where everyone's challenged to cook without certain ingredients...o only with certain ingredients? Go all Iron Chef style...you could do something like that...

Brutal honesty — I fell out of love with being a s...

2009-02-11T09:38:00.000-08:00

Brutal honesty — I fell out of love with being a stay-at-home mom. I know, I'll burn in hell and Grace will be in therapy her entire adult life, but I JUST WASN'T GOOD AT IT. I saw an interview with Felicity Huffman where she was asked if motherhood was the best job she'd ever had, and she said, "No, and I resent you asking that." She went on to explain how ridiculous it is to expect every woman to love motherhood without acknowledging how difficult it is. I love Grace more than anything in the world, but being with her 24/7 was HARD.

Thanks J, I appreciate you sharing on this...it do...

2009-02-05T21:23:00.000-08:00

Thanks J, I appreciate you sharing on this...it does make me feel a little better. It is getting better too, just a process I guess.

I relate completely to this post. My older son wo...

2009-02-02T18:31:00.000-08:00

I relate completely to this post. My older son would beg me to play and I had the same feelings (boredom, guilt, conflict). He was the kind of kid that wanted to "direct" me in various imaginary scenes that always had to do with animals. I would last about ten minutes and then want to put my head through a wall. Whenever we tried to play board games it would end up in a complete meltdown because he didn't want to follow the rules or god forbid I was winning.

Happily, I can tell you that he's grown up just fine. And he seems to have forgotten/forgiven me for being such a horrible playmate. Now that he's older we have much more in common and hanging out in "play mode" is good for both of us.

For whatever reason I can play much easier with my younger son. Part of it is personality type, the kind of things he likes to play and also that I'm not working as much now so I'm not as distracted. Oh the hours I've logged playing Zingo...

Regardless, he will remember you for being THERE, for cooking him his favorite things, for cuddling, for laughing at his jokes and comforting him when he gets hurt. We all do the best we can. He's as blessed to have you as you are him.

I totally get this...I am such a homebody and now ...

2009-01-09T19:33:00.000-08:00

I totally get this...I am such a homebody and now am going out more than I usually do. It's good for me to get out a bit, but I would always much prefer to just be home chillin'.

I am kind of that crazy lady who just wants to stay in in my PJs and order everything online. That's why school and hooping are so good fr me because they make me get out of the house..haha

I am glad you are going with your instinct and taking care of you...you will find the right balance for sure.

i agree with you about this film...it is incredibl...

2009-01-05T16:09:00.000-08:00

i agree with you about this film...it is incredible and very different from the other two. I never really connected with What The Bleep for some reason, but did like The Secret. But I very much just *adore* Louise Hay.

I am going through similar things and understand the having to really look at things and be honest with yourself and make changes...I know you can do it and we can be in it together each step of the way.

I *adore* you too, sweet Justine.

Sensual, playful and riding on stretches of inviti...

2009-01-03T12:35:00.000-08:00

Sensual, playful and riding on stretches of inviting water.

Beautiful!

Wishing you all that you dream of in 2009!

It is so beautiful...for me it stood for Peace.......

2009-01-02T22:45:00.000-08:00

It is so beautiful...for me it stood for Peace....thanks for your help Jen. Love you.

i almost used the same exact picture as your numbe...

2009-01-02T01:43:00.000-08:00

i almost used the same exact picture as your number 8 for something else...it's a beauty.

I'm with you on the screen stuff. That is definite...

2009-01-01T23:26:00.000-08:00

I'm with you on the screen stuff. That is definitely part of my resolutions this year. It's hard when my work requires a lot of it, it's easy to just stay with the screen. But oh so much better when I step off.